To be fair, I’ve never actually seen “Teen Mom” or “Jersey Shore,” and I haven’t seen a minute of “The Bachelor” in years. However, nothing I’ve heard or read about these (and many other) shows sounds remotely appealing. A cantankerous genius who spent 18 months in a barn avoiding the plague and changing the face of science? You have my attention.
2) “Seaquest DSV”
Sure, it’s easy to love “Star (fillintheblank)” or “Lord of the Rings,” but I know of other nerds who won’t even dare to touch “Seaquest.” My friend A and I were so obsessed with the show that we spent a lot of our down time composing storylines in which we could insert ourselves. I was horrified when I first saw the episode that dare reveal “my” storyline without me. To this day, I still think Ted Raimi is neat.
3) I can quote “Mystery Science Theater 3000” like nobody’s business
There are days when I eat, sleep, and breathe this 90s Midwest puppet show. And I’m a howitzer of quotations. Remember, kids: the good die first. (Most people are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns.)
4) I had not one but two birthday parties with a “Mystery Science” theme
The first one, “Sweet Sixteen Down in Deep 13,” was lame. Two years later I dressed as Pearl Forrester and all was smashing.
5) I once dressed as Spock for Halloween
6) I recycled my Spock ears for a theatrical showing of “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back”
I painted my ears green, and rubbed glitter gel on them to represent the Force.
Once upon a time, I could identify and name dozens of dinosaurs. I admit to being rusty on that now, but I’m still irked whenever I see or hear “brontosaurus.” (For the love of Pete, there’s no such thing as a brontosaurus!) And I geek in museums that have fossil displays. I need a bib when I visit the National Museum of Natural History.
8) The classic nerd wardrobe
Glasses and braces. I had ‘em. I also wore Winnie-the-Pooh shirts with great frequency. This does not represent nerdiness directly, but if you think that Pooh shirts = a lack of willingness to let childhood go = social awkwardness, then yeah, the t-shirts are nerdy.
9) I correct things I perceive to be incorrect
For one drama club performance, I played a snotty know-it-all kid who debunked a magician’s illusion. It was a creative work of nonfiction. I’m obnoxious in my (often unrealized) attempts to make the world factually sound. Because evidently, I think I know everything. (For the love of Pete, there’s no such thing as a brontosaurus!)
10) I make lists. Lots of ‘em
I’m capable of improvising. With effort, I’m capable of going with the flow. But my world is best contained in the most anal-retentive of ways. I can make a list about most anything. Sorting everything into pleasing compartments—such as lists—is an obsession. And what is nerdiness without a little obsession—be it a tv show, a branch of history, or a wardrobe?